January 25, 2012
The 24/7 Lifestyle
If you had asked me a year ago if I wanted to enter a 24/7 M/s relationship, I’d think you were crazy.
To have my freedom stripped, no time on my own, constantly cleaning or cooking or serving, to be naked most of the day, to have my bathroom use restricted, to constantly be in high protocol and referring to myself in the third person…
That would be exhausting. I’m sure there are people in M/s relationships who do all that all the time, and I really admire that. But that’s not the relationship Master and I have. That’s not what works for us. What works for us is this:
-I don’t sit on the furniture much.
-Master’s pleasure always comes before mine; which means he eats, drinks, sits, relaxes, etc. first.
-I do clean, but it’s not every day and it’s not rigorous.
-I do cook, but I do it because I enjoy it and Master enjoys my cooking. He would not have me make dinner if he knew I hated it.
-I have my own bedroom and may only sleep in Master’s bed when invited. (But I sleep in Master’s bedroom often.)
-I do errands and chores, but these usually don’t take me more than an hour or two to complete.
-I take Master’s shoes/boots off whenever he comes home and put his things away for him.
-I’m always available to Master for any sexual use, but I wear clothes at home (though no bra).
-I’m always available to serve my Master in any way he needs, whether it’s getting him a glass of water or a blow job or a massage or picking up his laundry.
But that’s really about it. We have a few little rituals and routines we do daily, but other than all that, we pretty much have a regular relationship. We talk and laugh and joke, and he knows that I wouldn’t serve him if it didn’t make me happy. He really is my best friend, and I consider myself so lucky that I am his. A 24/7 relationship for us means that I am always at his service— even if that service is nothing more than being a good “girlfriend.”
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February 6, 2012
MAsT
Yesterday (Sunday) Master and I went to our first MAst meeting here in NY (MAsT stands for “Masters And slaves Together” and is an international organization— their official website is below).
The topic was developing practical protocols and was presented by the MAsT Northeast Master/slave winners, Master Griffin and slave ann goodpet. It was a pretty good discussion about the hows and whys of developing protocols. Whose responsibility is it to come up with protocols? Whose responsibility is it to make sure protocols are done and enforced? What are the various purposes of protocols?
The presentation was pretty good and there was a good group discussion afterwards. But, I have to admit, I’m not sure how much Master and I learned, simply because we’ve figured out a lot of this stuff on the way. We’re by no means experts, but basically through trial and error, we’ve found what’s worked for us. Our relationship isn’t purely based on M/s, so we have a really comfortable environment for us to talk about protocols and rules. The protocols we have in place have almost all developed organically, and it’s fairly easy to keep them in place on a day-to-day basis. One of the things I would like to develop with Master, though, is the use of hand signals. (“Yes”, “No”, “Come here”, “Sit down”, “Stop talking”, “Rescue me”, etc.) I’d also like to compile a full list of our protocols, as we really don’t have them written down in any specific place.
It was our first MAsT meeting, and they hold them once a month at the LGBT center in Manhattan. I really want to go to the Master/slave Conference in DC this fall. I think it would be extremely educational and just plain fun to meet others (outside of NYC) and learn from them. I’m looking forward to future MAsT events.
May 24, 2012
Really excited!!
Master and I have been asked by a very good friend of ours to be on a panel of kinky couples/families at a lifestyle relationship workshop this weekend. The great part is, Master and I did this workshop (it’s two days) last year and it really helped us focus on what we want our dynamic to be.
The workshop is called “Creating and Living Positive BDSM and Kinky Lifestyle Relationships.” Here’s the FetLife info: https://fetlife.com/events/100626/v2
If you don’t have a FetLife (and why don’t you???) here’s the description of the workshop:
“This two-day workshop is for individuals, couples and families who identify with a kinky or BDSM lifestyle and desire to incorporate it into their daily lives— irrespective of gender identity, sexuality or kink interests. It is intended for anyone who wants to start a new relationship, take an existing one to the next level, or simply wants to learn more about alternative lifestyle relationship… This is a highly interactive and immersive workshop, with group and role-play exercises throughout. It culminates with a “without-a-safety-net” Q&A panel discussion featuring lifestyle couples/families in various relationship structures.”
(That last sentence is what Master and I are going to be doing!) We’re both thrilled and so honored to be asked to participate in this workshop. This is the kind of thing I’m truly passionate about: the day-to-day side of a kink relationship and how to effectively make any dynamic strong, healthy, and happy. I’ll be sure to make a post about how it went!!
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